I love you, EBay

I took a chance and purchased a Ducks Jersey (old style: Disney duck with a hockey mask and a scowl!) on Ebay. It was a really really reasonable price, and listed as never worn. Dude bought it and intended on having it signed by the whole team, never happened, hung in his closet. I just received it today, and it is 100% perfect. Absolutely perfect. I love the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, even more than the Sharks (but don’t tell anyone), so when I got this in the mail today, I just sat in the car and giggled with sheer joy. I think I will sleep in it, forever.

Cruising Ebay, I found this at the end of a listing for a hockey jersey. These guys sell A LOT of stuff, so of course, they post their policies. But as much as they sell, they have a sense of humor, and I like that:

THE RULES:

This is NOT a Best Offer item – the price is reasonable (whether YOU are or not). Please don’t email asking if we’ll take less for it. NO we won’t.

Non-paying bidders will be gnawed to a bloody stump by my savagely fierce Yellow attack Labradors. Grrr! All other decent bidders, please bid with confidence and check out our almost 100% feedback rating (yes, there’s always that 1 A****** isn’t there?).

If your family tree only has one branch – please don’t bid at all.

If you’ve been remarried, but still have the same In-Laws – please don’t buy.

Check out our reasonable return and shipping policies and if you’re uncertain about ANYTHING – please ask questions BEFORE bidding/buying. Preventable returns are a waste of everyone’s time.

Please pay with U.S. funds – no rubles, yen, pesos, or goat trading.

Return Policy: No returns under $30.00

Any other item can be returned for store credit for any reason within 7 days, provided it’s returned in exactly the same condition as it was shipped in, and accompanied by a note from your mother.

A restocking fee of 15% of the purchase price will be assessed on non-defective returns to cover seller and re-listing fees.

No fees will apply to any items purchased and returned due to a listing error. AND…if we screwed up (as unlikely as that may be), we’ll also reimburse your shipping costs!

Shipping charges: A flat shipping rate applies to ALL packages. (Yes, even YOURS). No pickups (although I love the new Toyota Tundra).

Insurance is offered and highly recommended. If your package is lost during shipping, I will feel terrible, but I won’t refund your money. Buy insurance and you’re covered.

U.S. shipments are usually sent via USPS Priority and generally arrive in 2-3 business days. (Rampaging gunmen may cause occasional USPS delays).

Upgrading to USPS Express usually results in 24 hour delivery (to MOST, but not all, U.S. areas) from the time the order is processed in Illinois.

Canadian and overseas shipments are sent via USPS 1st Class International and can take up to 6-10 BUSINESS days. That translates to about 2 WEEKS (in Metric) to my non-USA friends.

Neither seller nor USPS can control delivery times outside the USA.

Canadian Postal is wildly inconsistent on delivery times – yes it sucks, but it’s NOT MY FAULT!

Combined S&H discount is regular price for 1st item and $5 each for additional items.

Feedback – We leave positive feedback in bulk a couple times a month. As long as you leave it for us, we’ll certainly leave it for you. We’re proud of our almost perfect feedback. Although it’s rare, occasionally we make mistakes in shipping or jerseys are defective. If you are displeased in ANY way with your transaction, please give us a chance to correct the problem in a prompt and professional manner, BEFORE you leave negative feedback. We can’t fix the problem if we don’t know about it.

Thanks for looking. Go Blackhawks!

One thought on “I love you, EBay

  1. Dagnabbit- I had gone 9 months without logging onto Ebay but you reminded me- I was home waiting for a computer to arrive and of course, there was a must purchase item there.

    Nothing with the interesting purchase requirements. I especially like the number of branches on the family tree.

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